Book Review: Love the Ones Who Drive You Crazy

Jamie Dunlop, Love the Ones Who Drive You Crazy: Eight Truths for Pursuing Unity In Your Church. Crossway, 2023. 176 pages.

I didn’t read every endorsement of Dunlop’s book, but Tim Challies’s caught my attention. He writes, “One of my favorite pastimes is reading the sermons of preachers who have long since gone to their reward. And one of my least favorite realizations along the way has been that few of the churches these preachers once led so well survived much longer. In fact, some of the churches I have attended in my lifetime—some of the churches where I was once taught so well—have already decayed and been disbanded. In so many cases, it was not false doctrine or false teachers that undermined the church but a simple failure to love—to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. It’s for this reason I’m so grateful for this book and for Jamie Dunlop’s clarion call for you—yes, you!—to pursue unity in your local church. May God use it to convict his people and protect his church.”

Satan would love nothing more than to see the body of Christ rent asunder. From the beginning, the enemy has sought to divide the people of God. He has sought to pull people from God and one another. Relational strife is a result of the Fall. To Eve, God said, “Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you (Gen. 3:16).” Sin has vertical and horizontal consequences. Our world illustrates this separation. Our world is divided. We divide over politics, racial issues, abortion, religion, and many others. You don’t have to go far into the world to see division. The church should be different. Sadly, that’s often not the case. Unfortunately, many churches are just as divided as the world in which they live.

Like the world, churches are divided over race, politics, ethics, and preferences. Dunlop writes this book: “To help you love the people in your church whom you struggle to love because of your differences with them (3).” His prayer “Is that with each new angle, the grip of self-righteousness and complacency on your heart will progressively loosen, investing your love with renewed power, persistence, and joy (16).”

The book consists of eight chapters, which give eight truths for loving our brothers/sisters that we may disagree with. These eight truths are:

Insistence on unity displays the glory of God.
Impossible love flows from impossible mercy.
Disunity at church lies about Jesus.
You belong together.
Hope in God creates affection for others.
Divine Justice empowers full forgiveness.
People you dislike often act in faith.
We will answer to God.

Dunlop is not naïve. He understands that the pursuit of unity is hard. This call for unity is not “for the faint of heart (7).” Like marriage, unity within the body of Christ takes effort. It may seem impossible, but it’s not for the child of God. Friend, if you are in Christ, you are indwelt with the Spirit of God. He leads, guides, and convicts and gives the power to follow obediently after Christ’s commands. Church unity is possible.

Strengths

Dunlop’s book is accessible. Any member can read this book and understand it. His arguments are not convoluted. 2^nd, each truth is rooted in Scripture. He’s not arguing his opinions but from the Word of God. Much of this book is taken from Romans 12, 14, and 15. I encourage you to read these chapters alongside Scripture. Open your Bible, grab a pen and a journal, and take notes. You won’t be disappointed. Lastly, I appreciate real-life stories utilized to make points. He shows how these truths work out practically.

Two Truths to Highlight

If I had the time, I’d love to expound upon every chapter in detail. Since I don’t have the time, let me highlight two truths that I believe are indispensable for seeking unity within the body of Christ.

First, we must recognize the purpose of a church.

What’s the Purpose of a Church?

If someone asked you, “What’s the purpose of a church?” what would you say? Often, people respond that the purpose of the church is obeying the Great Commission (Matt. 28:16-20). Churches should follow the Great Commission as Christ laid out in Scripture. But we need to go further back to see the purpose of the church. Dunlop writes, “If we want to have patience and enthusiasm to love those in our churches who drive us crazy, we must find in the Scriptures a deeper purpose statement for the church (25).”

Why does the church exist? Does the church exist for production? Does God value the church because of what it does for Him, each other, or others? Dunlop says, “God’s purpose for a church isn’t found merely in its utility but in its beauty. Not simply in production but in reflection; that is, in reflecting who God is as a display of his glory (25).”

This thought struck me. It was one of those slap-the-head moments for me when I read it. Of course! The view is entirely biblical. Does this idea of beauty and reflection seem odd to you? If so, perhaps you’ve been thinking that the church’s sole purpose is production—what can the church accomplish? To be sure, the Great Commission is necessary. But the Great Commission is an outflow of the church’s purpose: to reflect the beauty and glory of God. We are created in God’s image. We exist to display the wonder of our Creator.

The Creation Mandate (Gen. 1:26, 28) governs us. We are to reflect God through our labor and love over His creation. The story continues throughout the Scriptures. Dunlop writes, “Through the patriarchs, God creates an entire nation and, once again, his purpose for them is reflective in nature (27).” We are to reflect the Glory of God through our lives. Of course, this is evangelistic in nature. We know the story. Israel failed. Horribly.

Enter Jesus. He is the image of the invisible God (Col. 1:15) and the exact imprint of His nature (Heb. 1:3). As John writes, “No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father’s side, he has made him known (John 1:18). Later, in John’s Gospel, Jesus says, “Whoever has seen me has seen the Father (John 14:9).” Jesus succeeds where Israel failed. Jesus succeeds where we fail.

But Jesus came to seek and save what was lost (Luke 19:10). He came to redeem a people. Peter writes, “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy (1 Peter 2:9-10, emphasis added).”

Dunlop writes, “As men and women who are being recreated in Christ, we reflect the glory of God not merely individually but corporately (29).” The early churches were filled with diversity (Jews and Gentiles). Do you think it would be hard for a Jew to get along with a Gentile? Absolutely. However, the gospel destroys the dividing wall of hostility (Eph. 2:14). “When a church in all its differences unites around Jesus, it reflects the wisdom and power and glory of God far beyond what we can do as individuals (29).” Quoting Charles Bridges, Dunlop notes, “The church is the mirror, that reflects the whole effulgence of the Divine character. It is the grand scene, in which the perfections of Jehovah are displayed to the universe.”

It is hard to love people who are different from you. But that’s what the gospel calls us to do. It’s easy to love people who think like you, act like you, and enjoy the same things you enjoy. That’s easy. But, “Easy love rarely shows off gospel power. But love that stretches beyond what’s possible is a stage, set to display the glory of God (41).” Therefore, “Recovering the church’s purpose, pleasure, and power as a beautiful reflection of Jesus helps us see why we should persevere in love (36).”

Reflect on the Gospel

The 2^nd indispensable truth for recovering unity and love within the church is reflecting on and meditating upon the gospel of Jesus Christ. How can we love those that drive us crazy? Remember the gospel. Dunlop says, “The answer is mercy.” He adds, “Brother or sister, if you are to love the “unlovables” in your church, you must begin to grasp how unlovable you were when Christ chose to put his love on you, and how unlovable you remain today even as you are secure in his love (44).” Oof.

Christian, Christ loves you. God pursued you when you were enemies. Paul writes, “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Rom. 5:8).” Have you become prideful? Friend, have you forgotten grace? Paul warns against pride. He writes, “For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned (Rom. 12:3).” Dunlop notes, “Pride blinds us to our sin, which blinds us to God’s mercy, which debilitates our love (46).” He adds, “The more you understand God’s mercy, the more your heart will be primed to love (46).”

Conclusion

The Lord used this book to shatter sinful heart attitudes within me. I wrestled with Him throughout the reading of this book. I lost. Praise God that I lost. This book challenged and convicted me. But it also encouraged me. If you are a pastor, get this book. Distribute them to members of your congregation. If you are a Christian—and, by implication, a church member—get this book. Read it. Digest it. It will be a balm for your soul.

“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”-Romans 12:9-10.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Josh Chambers

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